10 Things I Would Do If I Were A Wizard

1. GROW A BIG ASS WIZARD BEARD (but only from Monday - Thursday)

2. Dispel all major international conflicts by way of X-Box live, and the Playstation network. FIFA 10 should do it (It unites friends anyway, why not enemies?)

3. Help feed the hungry.

4. Eliminate gang, mafia, and hate group violence. (Let them believe what they may, so long as no one gets hurt. I don't think it's right to try and change people's thoughts with anything but words)

5. Spend about a week going around the Earth, throwing dogs at people in need of a friend... BIG dogs.

6. Create a Ghanaian national Rugby Team.

7. Make Triplicates of all DMV employees (that should increase productivity to a whopping 3%!!)

8. Release actual Werewolves and Vampires into every screening of Twilight. (Not to hurt people, but to give people a little fictional-reality check)

9. Talk to animals. I imagine conversations going like this:

Me: "Yo Blue Whale, what's going on?"
Blue Whale: "Ain't no thang, man. Just hanging out. Swimmin' and sh**, you know. Baleen feeding every now and then, same ol' same ol'."
Me: "I hear you. Hey, sorry to hear about the Oil on the Gulf. How have you and the family been holding up?"
Blue Whale: "You know, truth be told, if you don't mind the smell, it really exfoliates the pores man. My family's got skin as smooth as dolphins"

...too soon?

10. Have Morgan Freeman, John Madden, Dave Chappelle, The Man Your Man Could Smell Like If He Used Old Spice, DJ Bernhard and DJ Wonderful of Radio MaliBoom Boom, and The Sports Commentator for the Spanish channel take turns narrating different parts of my life.



more to come :^)